


Love Me Whole

by lavenderlotion



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blow Jobs, Come Marking, Coming Untouched, Consensual Underage Sex, Established Relationship, Hand Jobs, Insecure Stiles Stilinski, Knotting, M/M, Marking, Multiple Orgasms, Possessive Behavior, Praise Kink, Scent Marking, Stiles Stilinski has a Small Dick, Stiles Stilinski is Sixteen Years Old, Stripping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 22:57:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15253893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: Stiles’ hold on Derek’s hand tightened, his heart beating faster and faster as Derek’s hand trailed over the softness of his belly, resting flat against his skin as Derek spread out his fingers.“You’re gorgeous, Sti,” Derek said, though it came out half growl, slurred around his fangs. Derek was still breathing heavily, his nostrils flaring as he leaned even closer, his breath ghosting warm over Stiles’ stomach.The sensation was enough for Stiles’ hips to thrust forward, just a small, aborted motion that he tried to stop. Derek’s hand held him back, and Stiles leaned forward a little more just to feel the smoothness of Derek’s fingers against his skin.





	Love Me Whole

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HDHale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HDHale/gifts).



> Check out [HD-Hale](http://hd-hale.tumblr.com/)’s AMAZING art right [here](http://hd-hale.tumblr.com/post/175786230989/love-me-whole-lavenderlotion-he-dragged-his-hand)! It was such an absolute pleasure working with you, and the work you created for this event is freaking stunning. You are so incredibly talented, and the things you create constantly blow me away. I am so glad that we got paired together. Working with you was amazing, and you were so kind during the entire process. Without you and your encouragement, this fic would not be what it is. Without your gorgeous piece of art, it wouldn't even exist. Thank you for everything <3

Stiles was enjoying himself. Really. The entire night had been wonderful, starting with Derek picking him up and  _ meeting his father _ . Sure, it had been an embarrassing ordeal, but it was John’s only stipulation when it came to Stiles spending the night at Derek’s. And, considering his father was letting him spend the night at his  _ older boyfriend’s apartment _ , neither Stiles nor Derek were going to complain about an awkward sit down with the Sheriff. 

After forty-two whole minutes of entirely too-awkward conversation, in which Derek reassured Stiles’ dad of his intentions, Derek took them to a lovely dinner. Lovely in the sense that it was perfect for Stiles. The diner had been crowded, but his burger had been greasy and delicious. Stiles had opted for curly fries, and they were wonderful in their deep-fried goodness. His milkshake had been extra thick  _ and  _ extra yummy, and Stiles had hallowed his cheeks around the straw, looking up at Derek from under his lashes.

Stiles couldn’t deny that the hungry way Derek watched him had made him feel...powerful. He had felt sexy, and he had continued to tease Derek through the night: sucking his fingers clean, rubbing his foot up Derek’s leg, biting his bottom lip as often as he could. Stiles enjoyed the way Derek watched him, openly lusting after him.

Stiles had never been desired, before. He knew he wasn’t particularly attractive, with his buzz cut and the baby fat still clinging to his cheeks. His limbs were too-long, his whole frame stretched out and lanky. He didn’t dress in clothes that were ‘popular’, much preferring comfortable jeans and his father's old collection of flannel.

And school was hard when you didn't fit in. Stiles had learned that early on, and he had done his best not to care. It wasn’t the easiest, but he had gotten good and making it seem like he was unaffected by the things people said about him. 

But Derek had never seemed like he cared about those things, the things that made Stiles an easy target to pick on. 

Derek had never told Stiles that he talked too much. That he was annoying or too loud. Derek seemed to  _ like _ when Stiles talked, and he always listened when Stiles went off on tangents about whatever information he had stayed up too late researching the night before. He never acted like Stiles was bothersome, always happy to have him over or pick him up from school.

Really, Stiles had lucked out. Stiles had no idea how he caught Derek’s eye, if it was when they were all so busy running for their lives, trying to figure out  _ who _ the Alpha could be, or if it was sometime after all the craziness. After all, things had calmed down after Peter was gone, and Derek hadn’t felt the need to expand his ‘pack’. After talking it out with Stiles, he had decided not to bite anyone. 

Stiles still didn’t know why Derek had turned to him for advice. Yes, they had gotten closer during the weeks after Scott got bit. Scott may have wanted to ignore the fact that he was a werewolf, but Stiles couldn't ignore the world they been thrust into. His curiosity had pushed him to seek out Derek, accosting him with questions about  _ everything _ he could possibly think up.

Derek had been patient, answering all of Stiles’ questions. They had grown closer, while still trying to figure out who the Alpha could be. When it turned out to be Peter, Stiles had been there when Derek broke apart, when he realized it was his uncle who killed his sister. Stiles was there when Derek struggled to accept that he would have to kill the only family he had left. 

Stiles had done his best to offer comfort, and something in their relationship had changed, became  _ more _ . Neither had talked about it, not when there was so much going on. They hadn’t been willing to start anything, at least not until Peter was dealt with and things had calmed down. 

When things  _ had _ finally calmed down—Derek settling into his Alpha power with Stiles submitting as his Beta, and Scott finally realizing ‘true love’ wasn’t worth risking his life over—Derek asked Stiles out. He asked Stiles out as if it was no big deal, and then put up with Stiles absolutely freaking out about it. 

There were many dates after that first one, dinners and hikes through the preserve and quiet afternoons where they sat together in the loft that Stiles forced him to furnish. There were weekend lunch dates and quick coffee dates during Stiles’ lunch break, and there were quiet midnight drives. 

It was amazing, all of it, every second that they’d spent together. Stiles was on cloud nine, especially after Derek  _ met his father _ , with not a single whisper of protest, and the wonderful dinner that Derek had taken Stiles to. The hungry gaze that Derek had directed at Stiles the entire drive back to the loft hadn’t done anything to diminish Stiles’ good mood, and he felt, just a little, like he was floating.

As soon as they got into the loft, Derek pushed Stiles up against the metal door and licked into his mouth. Stiles kissed him back, more than happy to let Derek lift him by the hips and carry him across the room to the couch, laying him out like he was some kind of treasure and crawling over him.

He spread his legs so that Derek could settle between them, opening for the kiss and moaning into it. Stiles arched his back, biting and sucking at Derek’s bottom lip. Everything felt good,  _ so good _ , and Derek was warm and heavy pressing into him. Derek shifted, his crotch pressing into Stiles’ hip, and all Stiles could feel was the warm, hard line of Derek’s erection.

Stiles panicked, his stomach twisting as nausea swelled up in his throat. He scrambled away, shoving at Derek until he could move back, pushing himself against the arm of the couch and pulling his knees up between them, creating some sort of barrier. 

He buried his face in his knees, sucking in air as guilt and shame and horror raced through him. Stiles could hardly think over the sudden pounding in his head, his heart beating out of his chest. Stiles had no idea what he was going to do. He wouldn’t be able to sleep with Derek, and there was  _ no way _ he could let Derek see him naked, not if he wanted to keep their relationship going. 

No matter how amazing Derek was and how much he seemed to care for Stiles, there was no way he wouldn't break up with him when he knew. The thought had Stiles’ eyes burning, forcing him to blink back tears as something heavy and painful rose in his throat.

“Sti?” Derek’s voice was quiet, filled with concern, and the nickname made everything worse. Stiles shook his head, unable to get any words out. “Did I do something wrong? Did I go too far?”

Stiles’ head snapped up when Derek’s voice cracked, and Stiles’ heart broke a little more. Derek was pale-faced, staring at Stiles with wide, wet eyes. His shoulders were hunched inwards, and he was folded in on himself. He looked  _ guilty _ , horrified, and Stiles felt awful. 

He knew just how important it was to Derek that he didn’t push Stiles into anything. They had talked about their boundaries in length, and really, nothing Derek had done tonight had crossed any of those lines. Stiles couldn't have Derek thinking that he had done something wrong, not when he looked so torn up. He crawled forward, his own feelings and fears momentarily forgotten with the need to comfort Derek.

“No. No, it wasn’t you,” Stiles said, moving forward until their knees were touching, taking Derek’s hands in his own.

“We can slow down,” Derek assured him, running his thumbs over Stiles’ knuckles. “We don’t have to do anything tonight. I’m sorry I assumed. I—”

“It wasn’t that you assumed wrong,” Stiles said, dropping his gaze as he tried to pull his hands back, but Derek wasn’t letting go and Stiles sighed. He’d rather break his own heart now, then wait for the inevitable. “I want to have sex with you, I  _ do _ , but—but you won’t want to have sex with me.”

“Stiles, what?” Derek asked, tugging at Stiles’ hands until he looked up again. He had a small smile on his face, though it looked strained. Stiles shrugged, unwilling to say any more just yet. “What do you mean I won’t want to?”

Stiles just shook his head, tears finally spilling over. He knew this was it, that he would never see Derek again, and even if he did, that it would never be like it was now. Stiles pulled his hands back, scrubbing at his face as he tried to stop crying. He couldn’t, though, not when it felt like his heart was breaking apart.

“I know it. Y-you aren’t going to want to—want to have sex with me,” Stiles said, dropping his gaze.

“Stiles, I’m not sure if you noticed, but I  _ do _ want to have sex with you. Very much so,” Derek said, and Stiles looked up just enough to see Derek gesturing to his crotch. He wasn’t hard anymore, but Stiles could remember exactly how his erection had felt pressed into his hip. It made heat pool in his belly, just a bit, even though he was still crying.

“You—you won’t want to. Not when you see...when you see me naked,” Stiles knew his cheeks were blotchy red, both with emotion and embarrassment, and he flicked his eyes up to Derek for just a second.

“Sti,” Derek breathed out, and this time he was the one to move closer, not just taking Stiles’ hands but lifting him into his lap and wrapping his arms around him. Stiles melted into it, more than content to let Derek hold him for a moment. Stiles knew he wouldn’t get the chance to have Derek’s arms around him again, and he was selfish enough to cling back.

“I don’t want you to leave me,” Stiles whispered into Derek’s neck, adjusting himself until he was straddling Derek’s thighs, tightening his arms around Derek’s waist. His eyes were burning again, fear hot in his belly. 

“Stiles, I would  _ never _ leave you,” Derek said, and the certainty in his voice should have made Stiles nervous—hell he was only  _ sixteen _ —but Stiles didn’t, couldn't, believe him. Not until Derek knew. 

“I...I’m  _ small _ ,” Stiles said, forcing the word past his lips, feeling like he could suffocate on the silence that followed. 

He didn’t remove his face from Derek’s neck, too scared at what he’d see on his face. Instead, Stiles held tighter, desperately trying to prepare himself for the moment Derek pushed him away. Derek didn’t say anything at first, but Stiles didn't think much of it. He was probably just thinking of a nice way to reject Stiles, and so he waited quietly. 

“I don’t know what you mean by that,” Derek said, after what felt like hours. Stiles’ heart was beating so fast and so loud he hardly heard him, but Derek spoke directly into his ear, warm breath ghosting over Stiles’ skin and despite himself, he shivered.

“Don’t make me say it,” Stiles begged.

“Sti, I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me,” Derek said again, and his voice was calm, a soothing tilt to it. Stiles hugged him tighter, trying to memorize how good it felt to be in Derek’s lap, no matter how sad he felt. 

“M-my dick. Uhm, it—it’s small,” Stiles ground out, and Derek went tense underneath him. 

“Okay?” Derek asked, running a hand up and down Stiles back. 

“Okay!?” Stiles demanded, his voice going high and shrill. He felt like he was going to shake apart, worry and disgust whirring together in his gut. Derek was still just holding him, and other than the tenseness to his body, he hadn’t even reacted. 

“I’m not sure why you're scenting so miserable, but Stiles, that doesn’t change anything,” Derek told him, nosing along Stiles’ temple in an entirely too familiar way. 

“No, Derek. Like, I’m  _ really  _ small,” Stiles told him. He was still waiting for Derek to do  _ something _ , push him away or kick him out or break up with him. But Derek wasn’t doing any of that. He was just holding Stiles in his lap, still rubbing his hands up and down Stiles’ back and breathing against his forehead. 

“Stiles,” Derek said, his voice serious. He pulled back enough that they could make eye contact, and he cupped Stiles’ face in his hands. “I love you.  _ I love you _ , baby, and that’s not going to change just because of your dick size.”

“I want to believe you,” Stiles told him, covering Derek’s hands with his own. “I love you too, Derek, so much. I don’t want you to leave.”

Derek pulled him in and Stiles went, falling into the kiss. Derek kept it soft, just a gentle press of their dry lips, unbearably sweet. He swept his thumbs over Stiles’ cheekbones, keeping him close. Stiles pulled back for a breath, something like a sob falling from his lips before he was diving back in, licking into Derek’s mouth, trying to push down the lingering fear of rejection. 

Stiles bit Derek’s lip, sucking it into his mouth as he lifted himself further onto his knees, trailing his hands down Derek’s arms and over his shoulders, twining his fingers together behind Derek’s neck. Derek pulled back, causing Stiles to fall forward before Derek steadied him, looking up at him with dark eyes. 

“Not yet,” Stiles said, his voice hardly a whisper. Despite his best efforts, fear slammed into him. It was now or never. “I want you to see before we go any further. In—in case you change your mind.”

“Stiles,” Derek began, already shaking his head, but Stiles kissed him softly. 

“Don’t talk. I—I’m going to strip. For you. Stripping. That’s—that’s what I’m about to do, and if you don't like it...if you don’t like it, I’ll leave, and I'll be hurt, but I won’t be mad, okay?” Stiles rambled, twisting his fingers together even as he finally stood up. 

He was trying his best to stay positive, to convince himself that it would be fine, and that Derek wasn’t going to make him leave or kick him out. Stiles knew that a lot of the issues he had about his body weren’t his fault. You could only ignore the taunts for so long before you started to believe them, and Stiles had been expecting rejection since he even learned what it was to want someone.

But Derek had said that he loved him, and he  _ meant it _ , that Stiles was sure of. If he really believed that he would still want Stiles, then maybe...maybe Stiles could give him a chance. He was terrified of it all ending, of Derek changing his mind, but he had to try.

Derek sat properly on the couch, spreading his legs and placing his hands on his thighs. He stared at Stiles with hungry eyes, his jaw and shoulders both tense. “Go on.”

With a deep breath, he pulled his shirt over his head, dropping his eyes so he wouldn't have to see Derek’s face. He knew that his body was nothing to write home about, all long, thin limbs. Stiles wasn’t defined like the other guys on the lacrosse team, not even close, and he knew how pale he was. He resisted the urge to cross his arms over his chest as he dropped his shirt to the floor.

He only looked up when Derek growled, and his eyes widened when Derek was staring at him with red eyes, his fangs peeking over his bottom lip. Stiles blushed, especially when he noticed that Derek’s claws were out where he was gripping his thighs. His entire body looked tense, like he was holding himself back, and Stiles couldn’t help the choked laugh he let out.

Stiles’ hand shook as he undid the top button of his pants, and he had to try twice to get it undone. He took a deep breath, ignoring the voice in the back of his head that told him he was ugly, that no one would ever want him. Stiles let his jeans fall, stepping out of them as he toed off his socks. There was no turning back now that Derek could practically see everything, and Stiles closed his eyes when he finally pushed down his boxers. 

“I—I’m soft,” Stiles said, keeping his eyes shut tightly so he wouldn’t have to see either himself or Derek. “But it...doesn’t get much bigger.”

Stiles tried to breathe, but his throat felt too tight and his chest was burning. He forced himself to open his eyes. Despite his doubts, he had already come this far, and he tried to keep in mind that Derek had liked what he looked like shirtless—liked what he looked like enough for his control to slip. It was that thought that gave Stiles the confidence to lift his eyes.

Derek was staring at him with wide eyes, still glowing red, though his mouth was dropped open, his tongue peeking out to rest on his bottom lip. His breathing was heavy, coming in short spurts as his eyes ran up and down Stiles’ body. Stiles kept his arms tight against his sides, fighting the overwhelming urge to cover himself and instead letting Derek look his fill.

“Baby,” Derek said, a roughness to this voice that made it obvious it was hard to speak, and he raised his arm, holding his hand out for Stiles to take.

Derek’s palm was warm when he tangled their fingers together, and he tugged Stiles forward at the same time he moved to the edge of the couch, not letting up until Stiles was standing right between his spread legs. Derek raised his other hand until it was beside Stiles’ hip, but he didn’t touch. He stared up at Stiles and growled, but he didn’t move his hand forward until Stiles told him it was okay.

When he did finally touch him, Stiles had to bite down on his lip to keep a sob in. It was too much, Derek’s acceptance of his body, and Stiles felt he was going to fall apart, like the only thing keeping him together was the gentle pressure of Derek’s hand on his hip. His skin was warm, so warm, and it sent goosebumps over Stiles’ whole body.

He dragged his hand lower until he could palm Stiles’ thigh, squeezing the pale skin before dragging his hand back up. Stiles’ breath stuttered out of him, and arousal slowly licked at his belly, steadily building as Derek continued his slow exploration. Stiles’ hold on Derek’s hand tightened, his heart beating faster and faster as Derek’s hand trailed over the softness of his belly, resting flat against his skin as Derek spread out his fingers.

“You’re  _ gorgeous _ , Sti,” Derek said, though it came out half growl, slurred around his fangs. Derek was still breathing heavily, his nostrils flaring as he leaned even closer, his breath ghosting warm over Stiles’ stomach. 

The sensation was enough for Stiles’ hips to thrust forward, just a small, aborted motion that he tried to stop. Derek’s hand held him back, and Stiles leaned forward a little more just to feel the smoothness of Derek’s fingers against his skin. 

Derek stood, letting go of Stiles’ hand and grabbing hold of his hip, trailing his free hand back so he could hold Stiles by both of his hips. He used his hold to tug Stiles forward until they were nearly pressed together, and Stiles grabbed Derek’s forearms for purchase. His heart was beating even faster than before, his breath stuttering out of him. Derek trailed his hands upwards, dragging the flat of his palms up and over Stiles’ ribs. 

He ducked his head forward, his nose breathing warmly over Stiles’ skin, who shivered. His hands spasmed, just a little, and he grabbed tighter to Derek when his knees went weak. Finally,  _ finally _ , Derek let his lips brush over Stiles’ skin, and he arched his neck to the side. Derek slipped his hands from Stiles’ hips to the small of his back, pulling him even closer.

When he started to  _ suck _ , Stiles nearly moaned. The feeling of Derek’s mouth sucking at his neck, harder and harder, was driving Stiles crazy. His dick hardened, sticking out in front of him as much as it could, but Stiles was too distracted to be bothered by it. Instead, he slid his hands up Derek’s arm to wrap them around his shoulders, and he tugged at Derek’s hair as he pushed his face harder against his neck.

The moment Derek released Stiles’ skin from his mouth, Stiles was pulling his face up for a kiss, licking into Derek’s mouth. He could hardly breathe, lingering hurt still fresh in his chest, but it was falling away with every kiss, every time Derek ran his hands up and down Stiles’ back. 

“Do you want to go upstairs?” Derek asked, and when he looked down at Stiles this time, his eyes were once again their regular kaleidoscope colour that Stiles had never been able to name. 

It made it easy to nod, knowing it was  _ Derek _ who wanted him, in his right mind, and he let Derek press closer for a few more kisses before finally stepping back. Stiles squeaked when Derek swooped in and grabbed the back of Stiles’ thighs to lift him up. Stiles scrambled for purchase, grabbing both of Derek’s shoulders to keep himself steady, wrapping his legs around Derek’s waist. 

He laughed, his heart soaring as Derek carried him towards the stairs. The first step up had Stiles bowing forward, his cock being ground into Derek’s stomach, the rough texture of his shirt dragging over the head of Stiles’ cock. Derek growled again, a smooth, rumbling noise as Stiles gasped for air, grinding his hips forward because  _ he couldn't stop _ , not when it felt so good.

Not able to stop himself, he rolled his hips once again, grinding into the hard plane of Derek’s belly. It was so much, and Stiles’ cock was so sensitive that it almost hurt. His belly quivered and he moaned, hiding his face in Derek’s neck.

Stiles didn’t even notice when they got to the top of the stairs, too busy focusing on how Derek’s hands felt gripping his ass, palms big and warm. Derek was kneading the skin, pulling and pushing both cheeks as he made his way up the stairs, encouraging Stiles to keep rolling his hips, and it only made everything feel better. 

Derek threw Stiles onto the bed and he bounced, a laugh bubbling out of him. He choked on the noise when Derek took off his shirt, and the sight almost made Stiles want to cover himself, but he managed to keep his arms against the bed. His cock was hard, still, and he knew he was leaking onto his belly. 

Derek grinned at him, all predatory lust and Stiles whined in response, his entire body going hot. “Pants. Derek, c’mon, take off your pants!”

Derek smirked, though he pulled off both his jeans and underwear. Stiles gasped when Derek’s cock slapped up against his stomach, a bead of precome sticking to the dark hair dusting Derek’s entire belly. 

“Holy fuck,” Stiles said, staring with wide eyes and an open mouth. Derek's cock was  _ big _ , fat and heavy; a reddened head peeking out from his foreskin. “That...that’s a lot.”

Stiles got to his knees and crawled forward until he could reach Derek. He made grabby hands, humming happily as soon as Derek was close enough to touch. Stiles could hardly think enough to feel insecure, and his brain shut down when he finally got to ghost his fingers over Derek’s body. 

He was hairy, a thick blanket of fur over his chest, a heavier trail between his abs, thickening and widening as it got lower, growing into the bush around Derek’s cock. It was such a contrast to Stiles’ own body, his natural lack of body hair and the way he shaved everywhere else, that he couldn't look away. 

“Sorry about the hair,” Derek mumbled, and he wouldn’t meet Stiles eyes when he looked back up.

“Der,” Stiles whispered, leaning in to steal a kiss before he flattened his hands over Derek's chest. He carded his fingers through the longer hairs in the centre, giving them a sharp tug and smiling into the kiss when Derek gasped. “ _ I love it _ .”

Something soft flashed over Derek’s face before he growled, finally, finally climbing onto the bed, and he crawled forward until they were pressed together. Derek’s cock hit Stiles’ thigh, sliding up his hip bone and then pressing against Stiles’ stomach, smearing a wet line of precome. Stiles looked down, his mouth dropping open at the sight of them pressed together. They were complete opposites, and the sight had Stiles’ mouth going dry, arousal building and building low in his stomach. 

“Fuck,” Stiles moaned, but it got lost in Derek’s mouth. 

They kissed slowly, Stiles’ hands sliding around Derek's sides to his back. He was furry there too, but Stiles didn't mind, just continued his slow exploration. Derek’s skin was so warm where they were touching, his cock even warmer where it was pressed into his belly. Stiles angled his hips closer, mouth dropping open as his cock dragged through the course hairs above Derek’s cock, scratching at the sensitive head. 

“Holy shit,” he gasped, mouth falling open as he dug his nails into Derek’s back for purchase. He pushed his hips forward again, his belly quivering with the contact. “ _ Jesus fucking Christ _ that feels good.”

Derek laughed, sitting back on his heels as he threw his head back. Stiles couldn’t help laughing a bit as well, and when Derek’s eyes raked over his body, he didn’t feel an ounce of shame. He crawled forward, straddling Derek’s thighs and cupping his face, running his thumbs over the smooth skin under Derek’s eyes, tracing his smile with his fingers. “I love you,” he whispered, unable to say anything else. “I love you so much.”

“Stiles,” Derek began, but it was lost in the kiss. Stiles pressed forward, ignoring his own arousal while he kissed Derek as sweetly as he could. 

It turned dirty quickly, and despite the moment of affection they were both too keyed up for it to last. He opened his mouth for Derek, moving his hands to tangle into his hair and tugging, scratching his nails down the back of his neck until Derek was whining into the kiss, just as breathless as Stiles. Derek was pulling him closer, hands once again kneading his ass.

Stiles pulled back from the kiss, resting their foreheads together as he steeled his nerves. He could do this, and it would be fine, hell, it would be  _ great _ . He took a deep breath to calm his heart then finally reached out, softly touching the base of Derek’s cock and trailing his fingers upwards, thumbing over the exposed tip. Derek groaned, the noise sounding like it was ripped from his chest, and Stiles smiled.

Derek leaned in and nosed down Stiles’ neck, leaving a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses as he went. Stiles jumped when he bit down on his collarbone, and he tightened his grip around Derek’s cock in retaliation, watching as he pulled the foreskin down, exposing the flushed head. Stiles had watched a lot of porn, enough that he knew the difference between pretty penises and not so pretty ones, and Derek’s penis was _ very _ pretty.

He swiped his thumb over the head, catching the clear bead of precome and swirling it around, pushing along the ridge before pulling his hand back up, covering the head with the foreskin again. Derek was still mouthing at his neck, but he was sucking again, pulling at the skin with his mouth and his teeth. Stiles wanted to make a joke about marking, but it felt too good and his brain felt too slow, lost in the haze of arousal he felt. 

“Der,” Stiles gasped, tangling his free hand in Derek’s hair and pulling him in for a kiss. Derek hummed, licking into Stiles’ mouth again before covering Stiles’ hand on his cock, gently moving Stiles’ hand up and down, squeezing a bit tighter and increasing the speed.

Stiles went with it, doing his best to copy Derek’s movements. It was  _ very  _ different from jacking himself off, and the angle was all wrong. He tried his best, though, and he made sure to thumb over Derek’s head on every upstroke. 

“How—how do you want to do this?” Derek asked, nipping at Stiles’ bottom lip. 

“What? What do you mean?” Stiles asked, leaning forward to chase Derek’s mouth, tugging at Derek’s hair and whining when Derek wouldn’t kiss him back. 

“Sti,” Derek said, laughing, and he pulled Stiles’ hand off his dick to lace their fingers together. “How do you want to do this?”

Stiles leaned back and blinked, going over Derek’s question again but still not understanding. “Aren’t you going to fuck me?”

“If you want,” Derek said, slipping a finger between Stiles’ ass and pressing down over his hole. Stiles jerked forward, his cock spitting out a bead of precome as he moaned. 

“Y-yeah,  _ oh my god _ , fuck me,” Stiles told him, nodding his head as he pushed his ass back, letting the pressure increase. “What—what else would we do?”

“Baby, do you have any idea what your fingers look like?” Stiles shook his head, staring wide-eyed as Derek took his hand and sucked two of Stiles’ fingers into his mouth, scraping over his fingertips with his teeth, tonguing between them. “You could stretch me open, fuck me so good with them.”

“Holy shit,” Stiles said, his mouth dropping open and eyes all but bulging out of his head. “Yes, yes Derek, holy—”

“Or, I could fuck you,” Derek added, but Stiles was still just nodding his head, because yes, just yes to all of it. Derek laughed, his eyes bright and happy and hungry, so hungry. “What do you want to do  _ first _ ?”

Stiles took a moment to really think. Fingering Derek would be...fuck, it would be goddamn life-changing, probably. It wasn’t anything that Stiles had let himself think about before—Derek was the definition of masculine, and while his ass was a work of art, Stiles never thought he'd get a chance to...well, to do anything to it.

But now Derek was letting Stiles choose what they did. It meant a lot, knowing that Derek, while the more experienced of the two, was letting Stiles choose. He took a deep breath, and he pondered the choice for another moment, before nodding.

“I want you to fuck me,” he said, and a thrill shot down his spine as it suddenly all became real. He was going to lose his virginity.

“Sti?” Derek asked, cupping Stiles’ jaw and tilting his face up. Stiles took a quick, sharp breath as the burning that had flared in his chest hit him all at once. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m just. Nervous, ya know?” Stiles told him, letting Derek kiss him soft and slow until the nervous fluttering in his stomach went away. “Thank you.”

“I just want this to be good for both of us,” Derek told him, pressing forward for another kiss. “I read online it’ll feel better if you’re on your knees.”

Stiles nodded, mumbling a soft ‘okay’ against Derek’s mouth. He took a deep breath, letting it settle over his skin as he worked on calming himself down. He trusted Derek, and more than that he trusted Derek to make it good for him. Just knowing that Derek had already looked into this made Stiles feel better, and he gave Derek’s cock a couple more strokes—just because he could—before he moved off his lap. 

He went to turn over, but Derek stopped him with a hand on his hip, a sheepish smile on his face. “I wanted to—uh, suck you off? If that’s okay?”

“ _ ‘If that’s okay’ _ he asks,” Stiles said, dropping his voice in a poor imitation of Derek. “Der,  _ of course _ it’s okay if you suck my dick. In fact,  _ please _ suck my dick.”

Derek laughed, though he grabbed Stiles’ thighs and pushed them apart, moving down the bed until he was on his stomach, fingers kneading Stiles’ skin. Stiles was hard, had  _ been _ hard since before they even got upstairs, and his dick was wet with the precome he had been leaking. Stiles had never been so turned on in his  _ life _ , and he felt like he was going to fall apart when Derek looked up at him and grinned.

Instead of going for his cock like Stiles thought, Derek kissed up his side, stopping at Stiles’ hip bone and sucking in another bruise. He sucked harder than he had before, nipping the skin with sharper teeth and the flash of pain went straight to Stiles’ dick, had him keening, twisting on the bed. Derek didn't stop, just moved higher, laving his skin with wet kisses as he moved, smearing his saliva into the skin. 

Stiles moaned, grabbing at Derek’s shoulder and closing his eyes, letting himself get lost in the rhythmic sucking. Derek moved again, trailing kisses inward before starting in on another mark. Once he seemed satisfied he followed the faint line of Stiles’ abdomen, sucking and biting as he went. Derek didn’t stop until Stiles was panting for breath, his fingers tangled into the sheets, a line of bruises left behind. 

He finally,  _ finally  _ moved toward Stiles’ cock, and Stiles laughed when Derek darted back upwards to kiss over the marks again, nipping and sucking over a few. Stiles didn’t even care, too thrilled at being so thoroughly marked, evidence of what they were doing, of Derek’s  _ attraction _ towards him, displayed on his skin.

His cock was so small, especially when Derek’s face was that close to it. Shame licked up his spine for a moment, but then Derek was there, nosing at Stiles’ balls. He flicked his tongue out, not even having to raise his head to lick up Stiles’ whole cock, wrapping his lips around the head. Stiles moaned, the soft warmth of Derek’s mouth sending a shock through Stiles’ whole body.

Derek lowered his head, taking Stiles’ cock into his mouth until his lips were pressed into the skin around the base of his dick, his beard tickling at Stiles’ skin.

And god, that felt good, insanely good, and Stiles’ hips twitched up, pushing against Derek’s face, the hold Derek had on his thighs tightening until the grip was almost painful. Stiles didn’t care, couldn’t care, not when Derek was hollowing his cheeks which—wow, did that ever feel good. Stiles moaned, throwing his head back as he grabbed a hold of Derek’s hair for purchase.

He pushed up against the warm heat of Derek’s mouth, his hips twitching. Stiles couldn’t keep still, and he wiggled back and forth, the way that his  _ whole dick _ was in Derek’s mouth and not even hitting his throat turning him on  _ more _ . It was unexpected, but Derek’s beard was still rubbing into his skin and it scratched in the best way. Heat licked up his spine and he moaned again, sucking in a deep breath as his heart raced.

“Derek, Derek, I’m not gonna last, I’m not—” Stiles bit into his bottom lip to keep in a scream when Derek hollowed out his cheeks and really sucked, pushing his tongue into the slit of Stiles’ cock without taking his lips away from the base. That felt insane, better than anything Stiles had felt before. Pressure built and built, his balls drawing up as Derek continued to swirl his tongue around the head of his cock.

“ _ Der _ ,” Stiles gasped, pushing at Derek’s shoulder to get him off, because it was too much, far too much, and he was going to, he was going to—

Stiles came, his back arching off the bed as his thighs spasmed, coming and coming and coming into Derek’s mouth, hips jerking uncontrollably. He screamed, probably, but still Derek sucked. He didn’t pull off until Stiles was whining, ready to cry because it felt so good but it was too much, so much that it  _ hurt _ .

Slumping back into the bed, Stiles clumsily patted Derek’s head when he finally pulled off his dick, and he opened his mouth for the kiss when Derek climbed over him. He let Derek lick into his mouth, and he sucked on Derek’s tongue, chasing the taste of himself. Stiles pawed at Derek’s cock, getting a hand around it and giving it a few strokes before Derek was sitting back up, straddling his thighs.

“Was that okay?” Derek asked, looking for all the world like he was unsure of himself.

Stiles spluttered, trying to think of words when his brain still felt like mush. He struggled for another minute before finally sighing, taking his hand from Derek’s cock to link their fingers together. “Der, you literally just sucked my brain out through my dick. That was fucking amazing.”

Derek’s eyes tinted red, and Stiles laughed, tugging him down for another kiss. “Good, I—yeah, that’s good. Are you more relaxed?”

Stiles nodded, his smile turning soft as he stared up at his boyfriend. “I am very relaxed, thank you, baby.”

“Do you want to...” Stiles laughed when Derek trailed off, and he leaned all the all up for one more kiss.

“Yes, Derek. I still want you to fuck me.”

He turned over onto his stomach, grabbing a pillow to place under his hips and a second one for his head. Taking another deep breath, he pushed up on his knees, folding the pillow under his head to rest more comfortably. He ignored how exposed he felt, and instead tried to focus on the feeling of Derek’s fingers running up the back of his thighs and over the swell of his ass. 

Stiles sucked in a sudden breath when Derek  _ grabbed _ , spreading Stiles’ ass apart. Derek growled as he brushed his thumb over Stiles’ hole, his finger catching on the dry skin, applying the same teasing pressure as he had before. Stiles arched his back, pushing against the finger, whining when Derek moved away, stepping off the bed. 

“I’m just getting lube, baby,” he soothed, back immediately and running a comforting hand down Stiles’ spine. “Do you want me to wear a condom?”

“I—uh, I didn’t really  _ clean _ myself?” Stiles stuttered out, and he buried his face in the pillow, embarrassment hot in his gut and over his cheeks. 

He heard Derek rumble, and his hand was still slowly stroking up and down Stiles’ back. “That’s okay, Sti. If you want me to wear a condom I will.”

“I—I don’t,” he said, and he felt the warmth of his blush down his chest, over his neck. “W-wanna smell like you.”

Derek’s hand stopped, and Stiles felt the gentle prick of claws before they were gone again. The bed shifted, and then Derek was hovering over him, his chest pressing into Stiles’ back, nosing at the short hairs along his nape. He growled, and then Derek was biting down, human teeth pressing into Stiles’ skin, sucking it into his mouth as his hand went back down to Stiles’ ass, squeezing and kneading. 

“ _ Fuck _ , baby. Yeah, gonna make you smell like  _ mine _ . No condoms, gonna come in you,” Derek’s voice was slurred, and he pressed the words into the skin of Stiles’ neck. Stiles couldn’t do more than nod and whine, tangling his fingers into the bed sheet. 

Derek moved again, and Stiles jolted forward when Derek’s cock rubbed up between his ass cheeks, the damp head of his dick catching against Stiles’ hole. He pushed back, breath catching in anticipation. “Der,  _ come on already _ !”

“So impatient,” Derek said, but he slapped Stiles’ ass lightly, and Stiles laughed, wiggling his ass to get Derek to chuckle. He felt comfortable, more comfortable than he ever could have imagined himself feeling when he had sex for the first time, and he fell in love with Derek just a little more.

Derek rubbed his dry thumb over Stiles’ hole once again, and then he was circling it with a wet finger, and the shock of cold had Stiles rocking forward. Derek followed, pushing at the rim until his finger slipped in, and he drizzled more lube where they were now connected. Stiles pushed out a breath, making sure to breathe as Derek slowly, slowly pushed his finger deeper.

It was strange, the feeling of being  _ filled _ , but Stiles liked it. He had never gone this far himself, never past fantasizing what it would be like to have something inside himself. There was a bit of a burn, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Derek kept up the steady in and out of his finger, twisting it around until Stiles was used to the feeling, all of the burn he had first felt fading away.

When he started to push in a second finger, the burn came back, but it wasn’t as bad. Derek didn’t push his fingers in far, at least it didn’t feel like it. He twisted them around until he could push further, and when he did, Stiles arched his back with a whine. It felt weird, a bit uncomfortable but it wasn’t...it wasn’t unpleasant. 

“Are you okay?” Derek asked, his hand stilling and Stiles hummed in thought.

He nodded, pushing back again, fucking himself on Derek’s fingers when he still didn't move. Derek huffed a laugh, and a moment later Stiles felt his beard tickle over his ass, before Derek was biting down and Stiles shot forward at the sudden rush of pain. Stiles didn’t notice Derek had pushed in a third finger until the sting from the bite went down, and when he did he choked on a sob, three fingers being a  _ much _ sharper burn.

Stiles twisted his fingers tighter into the pillow, clenching his teeth as he tried to  _ breathe _ , glad that Derek wasn’t moving his fingers. It was  _ tight _ , too tight and Stiles had no idea how Derek was going to fit his fucking dick up there. He tried to focus on Derek’s mouth, the way it was sucking and biting at his skin, a different pain than the one sliding up his back.

It faded, eventually, and Derek squirted more lube over his fingers before he moved them. It was a wetter slide, and it helped, especially as Derek really began to thrust them in and out, twisting his wrist and turning them about. It was a lot, but it got easier as time went, and soon enough Stiles was once again thrusting backwards, moaning into the pillow as he tried to get his brain to work. 

“ _ Ngh _ !” Stiles shouted, his entire body bucking forward as his cock filled back up, feeling harder than it had ever been before. 

Derek pressed in again, stroking his fingertips over the bud of sensitivity, making Stiles’ entire body  _ light up _ . Arousal licked up his spine, and he tried to raise his ass even higher, a litany of ‘yes’ and ‘please’ falling from his lips, the words pressed into the pillow as he tried to breathe through the pleasure.

“Derek, Der, I need you t-to fuck me. Okay, Derek? I need you to fuck me,” Stiles babbled, shoving backwards so Derek’s fingers would hit the bundle of nerves again, forcing a keen from his lips as he managed to hit his own prostate with Derek’s fingers.

“ _ Fuck _ , baby,” Derek said, his voice mostly a growl, his other hand holding Stiles’ hip so tight he was sure it would bruise as well. “You sure you’re ready?”

“I swear to fucking god, Derek,  _ fuck me _ !” 

“Okay, okay,” Derek mumbled, and he pulled his fingers out slowly, rubbing at Stiles’ rim as he did, and  _ that _ felt good too. 

It took a minute of shuffling before Stiles felt Derek’s thighs press up against his own. Derek gripped both of his hips and tugged upwards, forcing Stiles to arch his back even more, pushing his ass out. The tip of Derek's cock as it slid against his ass was smooth, sliding between his cheeks easily, already slicked with lube. Stiles pressed back,  _ again _ , until there was finally, finally pressure against his hole.

The head popped in easily, Stiles bearing down and breathing out, and Derek moaned loudly. Stiles grimaced, but the stretch wasn’t much worse than it had been earlier, and he focused on breathing when Derek pushed the rest of the way in. It was...it was  _ a lot _ , definitely more than Derek’s fingers, and Stiles could hardly think with how  _ full _ he felt.

It was strange, an entirely unusual sensation but not all uncomfortable, not when Derek finally settled all the way in with another long groan. He folded over Stiles’ body, pressing his chest into Stiles’ back. Derek’s chest hair was soft against his skin, and he felt warm,  _ so warm _ , where their bodies were now completely pressed together. Stiles made sure to breathe, focusing on how it felt to have Derek all around him, his touch and his scent nearly overwhelming.

Stiles moaned when Derek finally moved, his cock dragging  _ inside _ , pressing up  _ everywhere _ . It was good, so good, and Stiles couldn’t stop himself from loudly making some sort of noise. Derek was moving so slowly it felt like torture, but god was it good, and Stiles could hardly think. Everything was too much. His cock was hard and he could feel it leaking onto the bed, his knuckles white where they were holding onto the pillow.

Slowly, so slowly, Derek pushed back in, and when he pressed up against Stiles’ ass it felt  _ so good _ , the way he was pushing against  _ everything _ . Derek kept up the slow back and forth, adding a roll to his hips every time he bottomed out that drove Stiles crazy, had him panting into his pillow, his belly quivering. 

He moved his fingers from where they were tightly gripping Stiles’ hips, sliding his hands up Stiles’ sides and across his back, grabbing at his shoulders. Derek was moaning, being just as loud as Stiles, and he was growling, too, a continuous rumble from deep inside his chest. He snapped his hips forward and Stiles shouted, his whole body going tight when Derek’s cock pushed against his prostate, more precome dribbling out of his cock.

“Derek! Derek I’m not going to last, I-I-I’m not, not g-gonna last, please—” Derek thrust forward hard, before pulling back out just as fast. 

He didn’t stop, fucking into Stiles quicker and harder than he had before, still rolling his hips on every in stroke. He was hitting against Stiles’ prostate  _ every fucking time _ , and he felt like he was going to fly apart. When he came, his orgasm felt like it was punched out of him, come shooting from his dick in time with Derek’s thrusts, every quick hit to his prostate making his cock jerk until he was shaking.

Stiles couldn't keep in the hurt little noise he made, his entire body feeling over-sensitive as it began shaking. Derek was stroking claw-tipped hands up and down his sides, but he wasn’t pulling out, wasn't moving at all. Stiles made another noise, his face scrunching up when pressure built and built against his rim, the feeling of being  _ full _ only getting stronger.

“Stiles, Stiles oh my god. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry I can’t stop it, I’m—” Derek’s voice choked off, and Stiles strained his neck to look back, fear settling low in his belly.

“Der, baby, what’s wrong? What’s going on?” Stiles asked, and he knew his voice had gone high, but Derek had his eyes squeezed shut, his entire face bright red and his mouth twisted down like he was in pain. It was horrible, and Stiles’ heart rate kicked up. “Derek, what is going on?”

“I’m knotting, Stiles, fuck, I’m so sorry but I can’t stop it, I’m going to—”

“Don’t you dare pull out,” Stiles demanded, reaching behind him to grab Derek’s ass, digging his fingernails into the plump skin to pull him even closer. 

Curiosity spiked, pushing back any pain, until all Stiles could focus on was the fact that his boyfriend had  _ knotted _ , that the added pressure in his ass was because the base of Derek’s dick had swelled and was now keeping them locked together. Stiles closed his eyes and breathed through the stretch before he rocked back, just a little, and it didn't hurt.

It—it was  _ a lot _ , but it didn't hurt, not exactly. Derek was growling, and Stiles opened his eyes just to see Derek’s own shifting back and forth, his fangs biting into his bottom lip. Stiles rocked back again and suddenly Derek was bowing forward, curling over Stiles’ body as he  _ howled _ . The feeling of Derek emptying into him was breathtaking, and he came and came and came, going on for far longer than Stiles had imagined possible. 

He patted Derek’s ass, and he tried his best to rub soothing circles into the skin. Very carefully he grabbed Derek’s hand, pulling it down onto the bed so he could wrap his fingers around Derek’s wrist and hold on. Stiles’ knees almost gave out, but Derek caught him around the waist and eased them downwards. The bed sheet was wet from his own release but he couldn't bring himself to care, not with his mind racing as his body tried to parse out what it was feeling.

“‘M r’lly full,” Stiles slurred into the pillow, Derek’s heavy body blanketing him, pressing him further into the bed. He rolled his hips forward and Stiles let out a whine when the head of his cock dragged over his prostate, even more sensitive than it was before. “ _ Fu-uck _ ,” Stiles moaned, stretching out the word as long as he could.

“Mhm,” Derek hummed, nosing at the back of Stiles’ neck, fangs catching against his skin. His hand was running up and down Stiles’ side again, the other pressed between the bed and Stiles’ belly. “Roll over.”

Stiles made a confused noise, but then Derek was rolling himself, pulling Stiles with him and making sure they kept close. Still, Stiles whined out when Derek’s knot caught on his rim, his body spasming in over-sensitivity. He managed to catch his breath after a moment, once they were both settled more comfortably on their sides.

Derek was spooned against his back, rubbing his hand over Stiles’ belly and rumbling again. Stiles shivered when Derek licked the back of his neck, but then he kept doing it, over and over, and Stiles settled into the comforting feeling the gesture held. He was tired,  _ exhausted _ , and his body slumped into Derek’s hold.

“That was amazing,” Stiles said, after several minutes of them laying together quietly. The pressure against his rim had calmed down, but he still couldn't comfortably move. “That was—fuck. That was amazing.”

Derek tightened his arm, and Stiles laced their fingers together over his belly. “You were so good, Sti.  _ God _ , you felt so good.”

Stiles giggled, just a little. “I had no idea it was going to feel like that. Like this.”

“What do y’ean?” Derek asked through a yawn.

“Just...just intense,” Stiles said, trying to put it all into words but finding himself at a loss. He was still a little overwhelmed, his body shaking just slightly. Being pressed against Derek’s chest helped, with the man’s warmth seeping into his bones. 

“I’m sorry,” Derek said, and there was a hopeless quality to his voice that tugged at Stiles’ heart.

“No, Der, it’s okay. If you didn’t know it would happen, I can’t really be mad—”

“I knew,” Derek whispered, and Stiles heart spiked.

“Why—why didn’t you say anything?” 

“Don’t be mad at me, Stiles,  _ please _ ,” Derek sounded desperate,  _ scared _ , and Stiles wanted to turn around to at least  _ see _ him. “S-she was always mad, always so mad when I—”

“Der,” Stiles whispered, his stomach turning. He squeezed Derek’s fingers between his until it hurt, until Derek was no longer mumbling apologizes into his neck. “I love you. I love  _ all _ of you. I don’t care,  _ I don’t _ .”

“I tried, Stiles, I promise you,” Derek’s voice broke, and his next breath shook as he breathed it in. He held Stiles tight enough that it uncomfortable. “I tried to stop it, I did, but I—I felt too good, you felt too good. I couldn't make it stop, I—”

“Der, hey, breathe for me, okay,” Stiles said quietly, pulling Derek’s hand until it was resting over his heart and taking exaggerated breaths in and out. He didn’t stop until Derek’s own breathing had evened out. “Derek, I need you to tell me what happened. Can you do that, please?”

Derek didn’t say anything right away, but Stiles didn’t mind. He ran his hand up and down Derek’s arm, annoyed that he couldn't turn around to comfort him properly. 

“I can keep it from happening, I promise,” Derek said, his voice quiet. “It’s why I didn’t tell you. With K—her, with her, I could keep it from happening. She didn’t like it, and she—she made me learn how to keep it down.” 

Stiles had to bite his bottom lip to keep down everything he wanted to say. His stomach turned, just the thought of Kate making Derek learn to control something that happened naturally making him feel sick. “I just—it was too much. It was too much and I forgot, and then it was too late. I’m sorry, I really did try, Sti.”

Stiles winced, but he moved forward, pulling himself off of Derek’s knot. It hurt, and the pain spiked up his back. Still, he rolled over, though he paused when he felt himself  _ leak _ . He made a noise, but he faced Derek despite the odd sensation. Derek’s face was closed off, his lips set in a frown and eyebrows pulled low on his face. He looked angry, but under that he looked  _ sad _ , devastated, and Stiles’ heart broke a little more.

“I’m not mad. I wish you had told me just so I had been able to prepare myself, but I’m not mad. It—it felt  _ really _ good. You don’t ever have to keep it down, okay?” Stiles said quietly, running his hand up and down Derek’s side slowly, scooting forward until their chests were nearly touching. He leaned forward, brushing their noses together. “It felt  _ really _ good.”

Derek finally brought his own arm up to wrap around Stiles again, and he pulled him the rest of the way in for a soft kiss. Stiles chased Derek’s mouth when he leaned away, kissing him again and again. They made out softly, and Stiles didn’t push at what was left unsaid. He knew enough about what Kate did to Derek to  _ hate her _ , to wish her alive just so he could kill her himself, and just the thought of it made him sick.

“You really liked it?” Derek asked against his lips, though his tone was light, not the broken thing it had been. 

“It was...a lot. Really intense, yeah. But not  _ bad _ ,” Stiles said, dropping another kiss to his lips.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Derek told him, and Stiles just shrugged. It was over with now. Derek trailed his fingers lower, ghosting over Stiles’ ass before dipping his hand between his cheeks.

“This is going to be  _ really _ messy, isn’t it?” Stiles asked, and Derek nodded, though he didn't stop his exploration. 

“Let me wash you?” Derek asked, though it didn’t sound like a question as much as it did a plea. Stiles wasn’t going to say no—he was more than willing to shower with Derek.

“How are we gonna get there? I’m sort of...dripping,” Stiles’ face scrunched up, because  _ ew _ , but Derek just laughed quietly.

“Just...clench your ass?” Derek suggested, and it was Stiles’ turn to snort.

“Derek, I  _ can’t _ . Do you have any idea how big your goddamn knot is?” Derek shook his head, but he was still smiling, and Stiles felt like he had  _ won _ , seeing Derek’s smile back. “It’s pretty damn big, mister. I’m not even sure how it fit.”

Derek just laughed even more, pressing one last kiss to Stiles’ lips before he was rolling over and standing. Stiles made a questioning noise, squeaking when Derek leaned down and picked him up.

“What are you doing!” Stiles demanded, though he nuzzled into Derek’s neck just because he could, dotting a kiss to the warm, sweaty skin.

“We’re going to shower,” Derek told him, and Stiles hummed, closing his eyes as he let his head rest against Derek’s shoulder. 

“Okay, but you’re doing all the work, big guy,” Stiles said, his eyebrows pulling down when he leaked a little more, doing his best to clench his ass again. 

“Of course, Sti,” Derek said, and his voice was soft, affection obvious in his tone and the careful way he was holding Stiles to his chest.

Stiles' heart swelled, again, and he bit into his bottom lip. He was lucky,  _ so lucky _ that he got to love Derek, but luckier that he got to be loved by Derek. All he could think about was how  _ scared _ he had been. Even still, the idea of being bare in front of another person had his heartbeat picking up as fear settled in his stomach. 

There were too many years of locker room taunts, relentless teasing and cruel words, for Stiles to feel okay with anyone seeing him naked. But Derek had exceeded all expectations. He had made it possible for Stiles to not only be okay with being seen naked, but  _ liking _ that Derek could see him. Even now, pillowed in Derek’s arms, fully displayed and spent, he felt no ounce of shame.

Well, until he relaxed and another drop of come slipped out of him. Stiles made a disgusted noise, headbutting Derek’s jaw. “Can you  _ please _ walk a little faster?”

“We’re already here,” Derek said, and Stiles opened his eyes when they stopped. 

Derek kicked the bathroom door open, turning so he could carry Stiles through the narrow doorway. He finally settled Stiles back onto his feet, but before Stiles could move, Derek was crowding against his back, his hands warm against his hips. “You smell so good.”

“Der, I probably  _ reek _ . Hell, we both probably reek,” Stiles said, turning to face him. Derek’s eyes were red, and Stiles had no idea how he could make the alpha loose control so many times in a night, but it made him feel damn good about himself. “We really need to shower.”

Derek actually  _ pouted _ , but he let out a long-suffering sigh before he sidestepped Stiles and turned on the shower. Stiles was a little disappointed that all the loft had was a large, standing stall. A bath would have been both comforting and romantic, and Stiles made a note to have Derek over the next time his dad worked overnight, so they could do just that. 

He watched as Derek tested the water temperature with his hand before stepping into the stall, keeping the swinging door open. There was still plenty of room for Stiles, and there was a collection of bottles on the floor, lining the wall. Stiles was quick to follow Derek in, his breath catching in his throat. There was something about Derek’s nude back, water rushing down his body and darkening his hair, that Stiles found  _ gorgeous _ , and he took a moment to appreciate the view. 

When his brain was back online he stepped into Derek’s space, wrapping his arms around Derek’s waist and pressing his forehead into the centre of Derek’s back, pressing a kiss to his tattoo. Derek made a pleased noise, one Stiles hardly heard over the stream of water. He ran his hands up and down Derek’s chest, not able to keep his smile down. It still amazed him that he got to touch.

Derek turned and Stiles slid his hands down over Derek’s ass. He smiled up at him as he squeezed, and it was easy to see why Derek had done the very same thing to him so many times. It was fun, the fat wielding to his fingers. Derek’s ass was big, and Stiles giggled a little when he jiggled it. 

Playfully growling, Derek wrapped his own arms around Stiles’ waist and tugged them together. Stiles dick twitched, but he wasn’t aroused enough to get hard again. Instead, he just felt comfortable,  _ happy _ . His smile was wide enough to split his face, and he pressed it against Derek’s lips.

Derek’s hands were running up and down his back, a soft, comforting motion that Stiles found easy to get lost in. He rested his head against Derek’s chest, the steam building in the stall and Derek’s own heat keeping him warm even though the water wasn’t hitting him. Stiles didn’t protest when Derek’s hands ghosted back over his ass, especially because he was still holding Derek’s cheeks in his hand.

He only said something when Derek’s hand slipped between Stiles’ own cheeks, his fingers resting against his hole. “Der—” Stiles began, but his protest turned into a whine when Derek pushed two fingers into where he was still loose. 

There was a squelching noise, and Stiles tucked his head further into Derek’s chest, his entire face burning with embarrassment. 

“It’s fine,” Derek assured, his voice rumbling out of his chest. The noise didn’t stop, and Stiles could feel Derek’s soothing growl vibrate through his whole body, starting where his face was pressed into Derek’s chest.

Stiles bit his lip to keep in the protest when Derek dug his fingers deeper, but a whine slipped out. He wasn’t sure if it was in pleasure or discomfort. He was much less sensitive now, and it didn’t hurt when Derek pushed in a third finger. Stiles figured Derek could push in a fourth and it still wouldn't match up to Derek’s knot, because  _ god _ , had it felt big.

He twisted his fingers, scissoring them open and Stiles panted into his skin, rubbing his face into Derek’s chest. It was good in the way it was too much, and while it didn't hurt it wasn’t exactly comfortable. He didn’t protest, though, because nothing Derek had done all night had felt anything other than amazing. 

Derek pulled out his fingers and a trail of come trickled out of his ass. Stiles wasn’t even able to stop it, not able to clench his ass closed since Derek had lazily fingered him. Instead of pulling his hand back like Stiles had been expecting, Derek pulled his fingers up through Stiles’ ass cheeks before rubbing them into the small of his back.

“S’good,” Derek slurred, pressing his face into Stiles’ hair. 

Stiles had no idea what to think, especially when Derek only repeated the action—shoving three fingers into Stiles’ ass and moving them back and forth, twisting his wrist until Stiles was hard again. Derek’s own cock was pressing into his hip, and his breathing was ragged. When he pulled his fingers out he did the same thing, cupping them under Stiles’ ass before dragging them up through his crack, then rubbing his fingers into his skin.

“Derek,” Stiles said, keeping his voice as level as possible. “Are you rubbing your come into my skin?” Derek stilled, his body going to tense, and he mumbled out a quiet apology. Stiles couldn’t keep the frown off his face, thinking about how much damage Kate must have done. “I didn't say you had to stop, baby.”

“Really?” Derek asked, and he sounded entirely too hopeful considering what he was doing.

“Can I ask why you’re doing it?” Stiles pushed back against Derek’s hand, smiling when he began rubbing his fingers in small circles again. 

“It’ll make you smell like me,” Derek admitted, and Stiles threw his head back to laugh.

“Der, I think I’m going to smell like you no matter what,” Stiles told him, cupping his face in his hands. Derek’s frown was  _ adorable _ , and Stiles traced it with his thumb. 

“It’ll make you smell  _ more _ like me,” he grumbled, grinning sharply when he suddenly shoved his fingers back up Stiles’ ass, causing him to screech.

“Asshole,” Stiles panted, bracing his hands on Derek’s shoulders. 

He didn’t mind the feeling anymore. His rim was still a little sensitive, though after the initial intrusion Derek kept his touch light. He carefully fingered Stiles, slowly thrusting in and out and lightly scissoring his fingers. When he had first jumped forward, Derek’s cock had pressed into his belly, and he looked down at it now.

Just as pretty as before, maybe even  _ prettier _ now that Stiles knew what it could do.

“Do you think you could get off again?” Stiles asked, grabbing Derek’s cock in his hand and giving it a few slow tugs. When Derek nodded Stiles grinned widely, pushing into a kiss. “ _ Awesome _ .”

“You don’t think it’s weird?” Derek asked, though Stiles was glad when he didn't sound upset, just curious.

“Dude, my super hot werewolf boyfriend can keep up with my teenage stamina. How could there  _ possibly _ be a problem with that at all?” Stiles asked grinning when he wrapped a hand around Derek’s dick.

Stiles went to work, grabbing Derek’s cock with a firm grip. Derek was still twisting his fingers in Stiles’ ass slowly, and while it was enough to keep him hard, it wasn’t enough to get him off. He thrust his own hips forward, dragging his cock over Derek’s thigh as he stroked Derek’s cock. Even though Stiles still wasn’t completely confident in his movements, he did the best that he could.

Stroking over the head, Stiles pushed his thumb into the slit. It was something he liked himself, and Derek curled forward, planting his face into the side of Stiles’ neck as his fingers stilled in his ass. He brought his other hand up to grab Stiles’ hip, holding just as tightly as when he’d been fucking into him. 

Slowly Derek started thrusting his fingers again, and Stiles moved his own hand faster. He twisted his wrist on every upstroke, keeping a tight pressure on Derek’s cock as he jacked him off. Stiles could only hope he was doing good, but the way Derek was mouthing at his neck and whining had him thinking he was, and he didn’t stop.

“ _ Sti _ ,” Derek said, the word getting lost on a growl, and then he was coming over Stiles’ hand. Stiles was a little relieved when it was significantly less semen than before, and while it was still a lot, it was nothing Stiles hadn’t seen in porn.

Stiles brought his hand up to his mouth, sucking in two of his fingers. Derek’s come was bitter, tangier than his own, and thicker. The texture was worse than the taste, though Stiles swallowed either way, licking at his hand until it was clean. He wasn’t surprised when Derek leaned in for a kiss, sucking Stiles’ tongue into his mouth as he growled. 

His tongue caught on Derek’s fang, and that was enough to push him over the edge. Suddenly he was coming too, only able to shoot out a few, short spurts of come before he was done. A little thrill went through Stiles when he realized he had just had his  _ third _ orgasm of the night, and he laughed. 

He gentled their kiss, his arousal having crested and faded with his orgasm, and he let it become something sweet.

“Don’anna use soap,” Derek mumbled into his mouth, and Stiles laughed again. 

“We don’t have to, big guy,” Stiles said, and he bore down when Derek slipped his fingers back out, trying his best to make sure he was empty. “But we do need to rinse off really well.”

Derek made a happy noise, and he kept his arms around Stiles for another moment before pulling back. When he did, his expression was softer than Stiles had ever seen, and he didn't protest when Derek pulled him into the spray. The warm water was a bit of a shock after not being hit by it directly for so long, and he closed his eyes.

Stiles hummed happily when Derek lathered their hands together with soap, getting rid of the last traces of come before rinsing it off. Derek rubbed over his body with bare hands, slipping up his arms and over his shoulders, sliding down his sides and across his chest.

Derek’s hands on his ass was becoming the norm, really, and Stiles let Derek scrub him down. He didn't bother opening his eyes with the water still hitting his face, though his smile went soft when Derek kissed his forehead.

“My turn,” Stiles said once Derek was done, his hands dropping from Stiles body. He opened his eyes in time to see Derek’s shocked expression, though he pulled Derek under the water before he could protest.

Returning the gesture, he rubbed over Derek’s body. Water probably wasn’t enough to get either of them clean, not after everything that they had done tonight, but Stiles would happily do this for Derek. After all, Stiles had never imagined being made to feel so good and being so wholly accepted. He loved Derek more than he knew how to express, so he continued gently rubbing his skin.

It was actually nice, getting to feel Derek up. The water had already washed off most anything that would have been on him, though Stiles grabbed his dick to make sure it was clean, peeling the foreskin back to swirl his thumb over the head. It twitched in his hand, but Stiles was moving on before it could do anything more. 

He gently turned Derek around, his heart soaring in his chest. He ran his hands over Derek’s back, taking a few extra minutes to admire the sight before he finally stepped back as well. 

“All done,” he said, letting Derek kiss him once he was turned around. Stiles yawned, his exhaustion hitting him hard. “Can we go to bed now?”

Derek nodded, turning the water off before shaking his head out like a dog, causing Stiles to laugh before he pushed out of the stall. The bathroom mirror was completely fogged up, and Stiles didn’t even bother trying to wipe it clear. 

Stiles knew the towels were under the sink, and he tossed one at Derek before grabbing one for himself, rubbing his hair quickly before patting down most of his body, wrapping the towel around his waist before he turned around.

He watched Derek tie his own towel before he left the bathroom, stopping only a few steps from the door as he took in the appearance of the bedroom. Derek’s clothes were piled on the floor and the end-table drawer was still open—but that was the tidiest part of the room.

Two pillows were on the floor along with the comforter. The sheets were a mess, the fitted sheet untucked in the top right corner, curling over the pillow Stiles had used earlier. There was a wet spot in the centre of the pillowcase from Stiles’ saliva, and a few other wet spots in the centre of the bed. It was...well, it was a damn mess, and Stiles burst out laughing when he took it all in. 

“We’re going to have to sleep on the couch,” Derek said, and Stiles turned around to see him scratching the back of his head as he stared at the bed as though it had somehow offended him.

“Don’t you have a change of sheets?” Stiles asked, walking to Derek’s dresser and opening his own drawer. 

It was a very recent development, but Stiles came over so often after school and on the weekends, that Derek had insisted he keep some loungewear at the loft. Stiles had a few pairs of sweatpants that he could change into if he didn't feel like staying in his jeans, and he had also thrown in a few pairs of underwear— _ just in case _ , he had told himself at the time—that were very handy now. 

Stiles dropped his towel to pull on a pair of briefs, snickering to himself when he spotted the bottle of lube on the floor. 

“Those are cute,” Derek said, and Stiles looked down at himself. They were Batman themed, and he knew that the bat symbol stretched over his ass. When Stiles turned around Derek’s face was serious, and Stiles' heart fluttered in his chest. He wondered if he would ever stop falling more in love with Derek, or if moments like this would happen for the rest of his life.

“Thanks,” Stiles said, and he felt completely ridiculous when his face heated up with a blush, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling brightly. “Can I borrow a shirt?”

“You can  _ always _ borrow a shirt,” Derek said, finally walking over and grabbing a pair of underwear for himself. They were  _ tight _ , and while Stiles hadn’t gotten to appreciate just how good Derek looked in his underwear earlier, he was definitely appreciating it now. 

“So big guy, change of sheets?” Stiles asked, dragging his eyes away from Derek’s abdomen only to grab an old, worn t-shirt from his drawer. 

“Oh yeah,” Derek said, and Stiles watched as he walked over to the closet.

It was domestic, the entire ordeal, and Stiles’ heart fluttered as he began stripping the bed. Stiles grabbed the pillow and took off the case. He stripped off the fitted sheet, scrunching both up together and tossing them into the hamper Derek kept near the staircase. 

He grabbed the two pillows from the floor and smacked them together before setting them on top of the end table. Stiles knew, that despite appearances, Derek kept the loft fairly clean. He was just turning around to ask Derek if he had found some sheets when one hit him straight in the face, knocking him off balance. He fell back on the mattress, but he couldn't bring himself to be mad when Derek laughed at him.

Stiles was pleasantly surprised when the sheet smelt faintly like detergent, and he rolled himself over until he could stand at the other side of the bed. He sent Derek a look, though he straightened out the sheet until he got it the proper way, shaking the sheet until Derek caught the other side. Stiles tucked in the corner, pulling the sheet down to tuck in the other as Derek did the same. He caught the pillow Derek tossed at him, sending him a mock glare before he fluffed it up and sat it at the head of the bed, Derek doing the same. 

“All good?” Derek asked him, and Stiles nodded, letting himself stare at Derek’s body as he grabbed the comforter off the floor and shook it out. Derek didn't waste time lying down, and he held the blanket open for Stiles. 

He crawled onto the bed, settling onto his side and looking at Derek. He smiled, a small, soft thing, and pressed forward for a kiss. Derek moved, rolling onto his side and tossing an arm around Stiles’ waist to pull him closer. They kissed for a long moment before Derek rolled onto his back, taking Stiles with him.

Stiles curled into Derek’s chest, nosing at the hair there. He smelled, though Stiles was sure he did too. It—it wasn’t all that bad, if only because it was  _ Derek _ and it was  _ them _ . Besides, he knew that Derek liked it,  _ wanted _ to smell them together, and Stiles couldn't deny that he didn’t like the idea himself. Knowing that he would smell like Derek thrilled him just as much as the bruises he had seen covering his body, and he cuddled even closer.

“I love you,” he whispered, sinking into the bed and letting the steady rhythm of Derek’s hand rubbing up and down his side lull him closer and closer to sleep. 

He hardly heard Derek’s answering statement, but he didn’t need to. He knew, with every fibre of his being, just how much Derek loved him.

**Author's Note:**

> A big thanks to red-crate, Merwin_Me and platypusesrneat for holding my hand and providing me with feedback during the writing of this fic. Special thanks to syriala for the beta. I struggled hard, and you all helped so much.  
> [my tumblr!](https://lavender-lotion.tumblr.com/)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Love Me Whole](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15254337) by [HDHale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HDHale/pseuds/HDHale)




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